Sex? In Oakland? In Adams Point? Yes, says Nextdoor.
Oakland Adams Point, the 40,000-person triangle-shaped district bounded by Mac Arthur, Grand, and Harrison, and Oakland Avenues, and with Lake Merritt as its front yard and fitness center, has been the focus of reports on the Nextdoor website that point to racist white neighbors who racially profile black folks – just ask Kenzie Smith. Something that was so frequent it gave Adams Point a national reputation, and a bad one.
Well, times have changed, and it would seem for the better and more, can one say, “funner”? Have a read about this hilarious complaint of loud sex in Oakland Adams Point, and the responses written (names withheld):
‘Pissed Off Oakland Adams Point Resident’ writes this:
Loud sex in the neighborhood
What the hell is up with the porn star sex that’s going on lately? Windows wide open, screams and moans. Good for you, but please quit making noise after 10pm.
Oakland Adams Point Nextdoor Resident One: “I think that’s a refreshing alternative to complaints about break ins, and problems with skunks and Nannie and gardner requests! Glad somebody is having some fun.”
Pissed Off Oakland Adams Point Resident responds “That’s true, glad you were able to see the positive side. Still, I don’t really need to hear how much fun they’re having at 3am!”
(Hmm. 3 am? Wonder if they met at The Alley?)
Oakland Adams Point Nextdoor Resident Two: “Please use protection to keep from breeding anymore of our ‘plague of the earth’ species please!”
Oakland Adams Point Nextdoor Resident Three: “all we need is love”
Oakland Adams Point Nextdoor Resident Four: “Be as loud as the hell you want, folks.”
Oakland Adams Point Nextdoor Resident Five to Pissed Off Oakland Adams Point Resident: “you have to be the BIGGEST hater I’ve ever ran into. I can only come to the conclusion that you have not gotten a piece for a long time to be complaining online on social media about hearing people having sex……..you need to chill out, and to the ones making the noise let me know if you need a third……PEACE/LOVE/HARMONY”
Oakland Adams Point Nextdoor Resident Six: “Best thing I’ve ever seen on nextdoor. I sincerely hope that you bothering to post this here is an indication of how few actual problems you have in your life.”
Oakland Adams Point Nextdoor Resident Seven: “To those making the noise I am extremely jealous. Enjoy yourselves, never stop. Be healthy, be happy.”
Oakland Adams Point Nextdoor Resident Five to Pissed Off Oakland Adams Point Resident: “Its sounds like he would probably snitch on his neighbor and call the cops. ” Excuse me I’m sure your real busy at this time but can you please send a officer over here for a noise complaint. In the Alameda Code Book under violation 6969 It clearly states that Smackin ass, Beatin Cheeks, and Giving your woman a dose of Vitamin D is against the law and can carry fines up to……SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!””
Oakland Adams Point Nextdoor Resident Eight: “Get some earplugs.”
Oakland Adams Point Nextdoor Resident Nine: “I’ll sell you my Sennheiser Momentum headphones 😹 noise-canceling, Bluetooth, good battery life.”
As an Adams Point Resident, I can only say I’m so happy someone took the time to basically stick an emema up the collective butt of our district. Many people aren’t friendly, and pass by you with their heads down. I’m happy to report that that problem has lessened of late – or at least the last time I was back home (I am helping my Mom in Atlanta while keeping my place in Oakland). Maybe the sexy noise-makers were the friendly people I’ve walked by. (Maybe they work for Insight Terminal Solutions?) If so, keep up the good work! We need more like you!
Oh, and Sennheiser makes the best headphones!
Zennie Abraham is the CEO of Zennie62Media